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What It's Like to Date Someone With Dissociative Identity Disorder
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a complex and most misunderstood personality disorder. Where you have one or more different identities called alter, each alter has different behavior, ethnicities, and ways of interacting with the environment. DID can have unique challenges in a relationship. For dissociative identity disorder treatments, it is essential to understand the challenges, especially when you are dating someone having DID.
Dissociative identity disorder is not common; only 1.5% have DID worldwide. Condition starts associating in childhood, because of long-term traumatic events, such as stressful experiences, trauma, or abuse. We will explore what it's like to date someone with DID, and how to support a partner in ups and downs with empathy and care.
What Psychiatrists Say About Dissociative Identity Disorder
These alterations may contrast with the person's primary identity, such as name, age, personality, or even gender, which may be different. The memory of each alter may not transfer to another change, and they may experience memory loss called amnesia. A person's vocabulary and mood may shift dramatically between alters. Patients often feel disconnected from their thoughts, feelings, or sense of identity.
People with DID show symptoms related to:
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Anxiety
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Delusions
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Depression
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Self-puzzlement
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Disordered eating
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Self-destructive behavior
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Substance misuse
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Memory gaps
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Suicidal thoughts or self-harm
Emotional and Psychological Impact of DID on Romantic Relationships
In a relationship, a normal partner may face different challenges with someone who has DID. You may experience multiple alters in your partner's personality, which can be exhausting, especially when trying to be intimate or build a daily life together.
Emotional Impact
People with DID may face difficulty in regulating emotions, particularly in close relationships. Your partner often has fluctuating moods, rarely shows emotional expressions towards you, or even emotional gaps between partners. A partner may not remember specific experiences or moments you enjoyed together, which can affect the trust and closeness.
Multiple Alters
Your partner with DID has multiple alters, which means their behavior may shift without warning. One alter loving another can be defensive or two years old. That is painful for your emotions, because not every alter can love you. You try to build a relationship with each alter, which can make you tired of doing so.
Cope with Triggers
Certain situations can trigger a switch from one to another, which can lead to a sudden change in behavior and communication style. You have to struggle with each alter, treating different coping mechanisms. To cope with each other, you must understand each other to maintain a healthy relationship.
How to Build a Strong Relationship with Your Partner Who Has DID
This challenge can be managed effectively. The relationship can still grow and evolve when both partners try together with patience and understanding.
Communication is Key
It is necessary to know that your relationship with your partner's primary identity may differ from your relationships with others. And each altar has different boundaries. You must be aware that some alters may love you, and some may not. You need to respect each other and talk to them about your needs and your partner's needs. Communicate your support and let your partner know that they are accepted, valued, and loved.
Stability and Consistency
The symptoms of DID are often managed through a stable and predictable environment. Consistency in your relationship can help manage the transition between alters. Maintaining regular routines, setting clear boundaries, and a predictable schedule will provide emotional stability for your partner and help reduce the feelings of fear and confusion.
Set the Boundaries
Setting boundaries in every relationship is key to successful bonding. This is so true with DID, where one alter may feel comfortable within certain boundaries while another may not. Please communicate with your partner and ask about boundaries and adjust them where they feel comfortable. The boundaries can include physical, emotional, and intimacy levels.
The Role of a Dissociative Identity Disorder Specialist
After making all these efforts with a partner, there is still a need for a psychiatrist for dissociative identity disorder treatment. Professionals will diagnose the traumas that led to DID and help manage the alters. They will help integrate their alters.
Therapeutic Support
Seeking help from a psychiatrist is crucial, as they treat through medicine or therapy. Therapies like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT) can help your partner in managing traumas and work towards managing separate personalities into a single identity.
Dissociative Identity Disorder Treatments
The treatment of DID involves long-term therapy with the supportive role of the partner, which can not be underestimated. Treatment options other than therapies are medication for anxiety and depression, as the symptoms of anxiety and depression are closely associated with DID.
Couple Therapies
The professionals also do couples therapy for both partners, as the partner's support is crucial, and their understanding of the condition is essential. Providers will educate the partner on how to cope with symptoms and show tolerance towards the different personalities of their DID partner. In this matter, professionals seek a partner's support in their treatment plan.
Treat Your Partner with Awareness and Empathy
Dating someone with DID requires a peak level of emotional intelligence, patience, and empathy. Try to accept the weakness of their partner and help them after they have learned. Actively listen to your partner about their needs and show patience when their identity shifts. Support your partner's therapeutic journey without showing negative behavior.
During this entire process, self-care is most important. Don't let the situation occupy your feelings and destroy your mental peace. As you are not responsible for the current situation of your partner, mutual understanding and patience are needed from both sides.
Despite the challenges, this kind of relationship offers an opportunity for personal growth. Both partners learn patience, flexibility, and how to navigate complexity in their relationship. Over time, this connection will learn how to live with mutual understanding and support in every situation.
Conclusion
Despite these coping mechanisms, the DID patient also battled with suicidal ideation. Suicidal ideation is one of the most common symptoms of DID, around 70% people with DID attempt suicide or harm at least once. If you feel this severe symptom, just call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, connect with a professional, and go to the emergency department.
Dissociative Identity Disorder is treatable; address it with a licensed psychiatrist, and they will treat you in the best way. Utilizing online psychiatry services can make accessing care more convenient. As their partners, it's your job to be the support and love that they need. You should never feel guilty about needing additional help or support. Dissociative identity disorder treatments are available for everyone.